VISION: Based on the plans, we will be remodeling our new space in a way that creates a large group meeting area that is slightly larger than the area in the back of our current office. There will be up to four spaces for Connection Groups that need rooms for breaking into small groups. The front area will be administrative work space for Melanie and a welcoming work and connecting area that can be used by the youth, ministries, and connection groups. This is the area that we see being used to especially connect with the steady flow of people walking to and from Formula Fitness.

We know God is calling us awake to the many possibilities He is giving us through this new space. Now it's our opportunity to ask Him what He wants each of us to give in money, time and talents to make it happen.

DEMOLITION
Demolition is set for next Friday night, May 6th, 6 PM-?. Finish demo and completing all framing will be on Saturday 7:30 AM-finish when framing is done. We're looking for as much help as we can get during these times. Bring your saws-alls, hammers, crowbars, sledge hammers, and shop-vacs. If you can come, please contact the office. It'll help to have an idea of how many people we'll have next weekend.

FINANCES: Monthly rent for the new office space will remain the same as our current monthly rent. However, what we do not have in the current budget is finances to cover the cost of renovating this office space. To remodel and furnish the office space the estimate is in the range of $7,500-$8,000 for remodel work and $2,000 - $2,500 to furnish and set-up the office. The actual cost will depend on how much volunteer work can be done in all phases of this project.

Starting this Sunday, May 1, and throughout May, there will be opportunity to give towards this project. As is the case whenever we have special opportunity to give, we ask you to pray about what God is asking you to do. While this is an exciting opportunity, we must first take care of our existing commitments through our regular tithe and giving. So in praying, we are each asking God what to give sacrificially - that is, what am I to give in addition to my regular tithe? Special envelopes with "Special Offering" on the front will be used for giving towards the office project. These envelopes will be available at the Info Cafe and in your announcement sheet this week.

TIMETABLE: We must vacate our current office space by Tuesday, May 31. See timetable here. If you have areas of specific skill and interest, please contact Clair Hostetter or the office to let us know. It will help us to know who is able to help with specific areas. If you are a "jack-of-all-trades" but not necessarily a pro at any, then let us know and you can be of help throughout.

Looking forward to an exciting month ahead!

Serving together,

Dave and Jeff

This folk tale is from Thailand. I read it in a newsletter sent by a missionary who served in Thailand in 2000. I haven’t forgotten it because, well, I kept it, but really because the story left an impression on me.

So as any good tale begins, “Once upon a time…

…a king stood on his balcony eating honey on rice cakes with his chief advisor. As they ate, they gazed down on the street below. The king was in good humor that day, and as he laughed, a drop of honey fell from his rice cake onto the railing.

The adviser was about to call a servant to wipe up the honey, when the king waved a hand to stop him. “Don’t bother, it’s only a little drop of honey, it’s not our problem. The servants will clean it up later.”

They went on eating and talking as the drop of honey warmed in the sun and began to slowly drip down the rail. At last if fell onto the street below.

Attracted by the sweet smell, a fly landed on it and began to eat.

“Your highness,” the advisor commented, “the drop of honey has now landed in the street and is attracting flies. Perhaps we should call someone to clean it up?”

“Don’t bother. It’s not our problem", declared the king.

A nearby gecko shot out its long tongue and caught the fly.

The lizard was taken by surprise when a cat leapt on it.

The cat, playing with its food in the middle of the street caught the attention of a dog, who attacked it.

“Now sire, there is a cat and dog fight in the street. Surely we should call someone to stop it?”

“Don’t bother. It’s not our problem. Here come the cat and dog owners. They’ll stop it. We don’t need to get involved.”

So the two continued to eat their honey and rice cakes and to watch the spectacle from their comfortable perch.

The cat’s owner was horrified to see her cat being attacked by the dog and started whacking the dog with her broom. The dog’s owner was horrified to see her dog being attacked by the cat’s owner and started whacking the cat with her broom.

The king’s good humor turned to anger as he watched the scene below. “I’ll have no fighting in my streets,” he bellowed. “Call in my guards to quell this battle at once!”

The palace guards were summoned. But by this time the fight had grown as friends on either side joined the fray. The guards tried to break up the fighting, but soon they too had joined in. With guards involved, the fight erupted into a civil war. Houses were burned, and the palace itself was set afire and destroyed.

The kingdom was never returned to its former splendor, but new wisdom was gained in that country. Some people still say: We are responsible for our actions, large and small. Small problems if unattended, grow into larger ones, and a whole kingdom can be lost from a drop of honey.

Small problems may not even seem like a problem… “it’s just a drop of honey.” But what are we loosing, that could be our as followers of Jesus, because we’re not bothering to deal with it? Part of growing up is taking responsibility for our “drops of honey”, big and small. “So, get rid of all filth and evil in your lives…” (James 1:21a).

Prayer and Fasting for Marriages

On Wednesday, February 16^th, The Door will be having a day of prayer and fasting for marriages. If you are willing to fast and pray for a certain time during that day, please let us know at the office. This way we can send you requests to pray for from those who have asked for prayer for their marriage. You can let us know when you will be praying and fasting on February 16^th by email or calling (717.394.7977).

If there are specifics for your marriage that we can pray for, please share these by email or calling The Door office (717.394.7977) by Tuesday morning, February 15^th. Only your request will be shared with those praying. No names or specific marriages will be shared.

February Fast

Remember to fast that one thing during the week that will free up some time for you to spend with God. Just like we make time to eat food for our bodies, this is a way of making extra time to have a meal with God. The questions to talk to God about during that time are: 

1.    How can I aim for excellence in my spiritual life?

2.    What do I need to take responsibility for in my life as a follower of Jesus?

3.    What does God want to do through The Door in the future, and how is He calling me to be a part of it?

Please feel free to share anything that God has been doing in your life during this time of fasting and prayer. I would love to hear about it!

Dave

overview for the vision process

Dave attended an NCS seminar about church planting many years ago. (NCS: New Church Specialties) During the weekend seminar he learned about a program NCS offers churches.

Dave shared with the leadership team about the possibility of asking NCS to lead The Door in the assessment and visioneering process. At that time, three years ago, the leadership team decided not to go that direction, primarily due to financial constraints. However, this possibility has been on the leadership team’s radar ever since.

Leadership Support Team formed in January of 2010. Qualifications were shared and time for input was given. The team was then formed and committed to function until January 2011. Their primary purpose was to serve for one year and help provide the Leadership Team with perspective and insight related to things that impacted the entire body. During the spring of 2010 the Leadership Support Team processed the possibility of having someone outside of The Door to facilitate a process that would identify strengths and areas for improvement so we can set goals and action plans for the coming 5 years.  NCS was thoroughly vetted  by contacting numerous churches who had worked with NCS in the past. By the end of the summer it was decided that NCS would be a helpful partner for this season.

NCS Partners with The Door: After sharing with The Door about this possibility and giving time for feedback, the consensus was to ask NCS to partner with The Door to facilitate an assessment and equipping process. Larry Cook is from NCS and partnering with the Leadership Team in this process. While NCS has the name “New Church” in it, they are not telling The Door what we should do to become a new church. Our goal is not to be become a new church because we are not becoming a new church with a major overhaul of our vision. Nor are we having a crisis or concerned that who we are is wrong. Instead, our motive for assessment and growth is because we want to build on the strengths we have. Just as we believe that following Jesus means ongoing transformation, there are ways that God wants The Door as a whole to keep being transformed. An analogy is that NCS is like a doctor doing a check-up. The doctor is trained and equipped to use tools to evaluate and assess. But it is up to the patient to take the assessment and determine what will be done and how. For example, one area that will come up is a facility and how the current space at LMH is impacting us in fulfilling our purpose as a church. The Door, not NCS, determines the action plan that develops from this information. Another area that will come up having structures in place that support growth, vision and all God wants for us.

Assessment Weekend: Everyone was asked to participate in this weekend. On the weekend of Nov. 20-21, 2010, written interviews were collected from anyone willing to complete one. Larry and his wife conducted face to face interviews with a wide cross-section of The Door family.  Larry also preached on Sunday so that everyone had an opportunity to hear from Larry in person.

Focus Team Formed: The Leadership Team, along with 4-8 other people will form a focus team. They will meet twice a month from January-June 2011 to take the assessment results and facilitate the process of developing action plans. Dave is working closely with Larry to form the focus team. They are looking for people to be on the focus team who match well with the initiative areas we’ll be focusing on.

Assessment Results: In January 2011 the assessment results will be received in the form of a booklet. The assessment will have quantitative and qualitative data. NCS has an internationally recognized resource called Natural Church Development: A Guide to 8 Essential Qualities of Healthy Churches. The assessment results will highlight which of these categories are strong in The Door and which need strengthening. The 8 categories are: Empowering Leadership, Gift-Oriented Ministry, Passionate Spirituality, Functional Structures, Inspiring Worship Service, Holistic Small groups, Need-Oriented Evangelism, & Loving Relationships.

Training Weekend: January 21-23 Larry will be guiding the Leadership Team, Support Team, and Focus Team in interpreting the results and preparing for the process of working on developing actions plans and communication while this is happening. The Training Weekend marks the completion of the Leadership Support Team.

Involvement: The Focus Team will be forming smaller teams to work on developing action plans for specific initiatives that are identified in the assessment. Anyone with interest, and who has expressed commitment to the Door through the Commitment Form, is invited to express their interest by talking to Dave or Jeff. We’ll see how your areas of interest might best match with one of the concentrations of the focus team.

Updates: Consistent updates will also be shared in our Family Life time on Sunday mornings and]]> Fri, 07 Jan 2011 05:00:00 GMT http://www.thedoorcf.com/pages/page.asp?page_id=83858&articleId=18842 http://www.thedoorcf.com/pages/page.asp?page_id=83858&articleId=17818
Church is the catalyst God uses in our lives to rethink “me” in order to discover “we”. The New Testament is filled with passages describing what “we” requires of us. “We” is happening at The Door. But we talk about it because it's not happening by accident. It happens because we are intentional. Thank you for going for it as a church.

Sunday’s sermon (11/14/10) explained how "me" becomes "we" when we are: 1) devoted to one another, 2) compromise personal preferences, and 3) bear one another’s burdens. Church is a gift we give to each other and receive through each other. There is mystery and adventure in this. Church is living.

The image above is taken from a video called "TeamHoyt." This video illustrates “we” & “together” in a clear way. It’s in stark contrast to “me” and “separateness.” The power of the message in this video is greater than the story of a father and son. It’s a story of what we are created for in being the church together – the body of Christ.

“We” is counter cultural in a "me" culture. Verses 1-4 in Philippians 2 describes church as “we” – giving specific examples of what it looks like:

“1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. 3 Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4 Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.”

Our basis for this is in our role model, Jesus Christ:

“5 Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. 6 Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. 7 He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. 8 And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal's death on a cross. 9 Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2)

We just finished the Whisper series by talking about how God speaks to us through others. As a church we are walking this out together as we begin sharpening our focus for the next 5-7 years. It’s an exciting time. It’s also an important time.

The Written Interview is an avenue through which the Leadership team believes God wants to speak to The Door. So it’s important for us as a church family to have as many people as possible complete a written interview.

Here are a few important details about the Written Interviews:

• The interviews will be looked at in detail by Larry Cook (he is the one providing tools for us to use in this process).

• An email, with the interview attached, was sent to those in the directory. You can print a copy or pick one up on a Sunday morning at the Info Café.

• Place completed interviews in the marked box at the Info Café or the bottom exit of the auditorium.

• The deadline for returning an interview is Sunday, Nov. 21. (Larry will be preaching that Sunday).

This Spring Elizabeth (my wife) asked me what I thought about her training for a marathon. Running like that has never been what she does. I would know, right, after being married to her for so long? After 23 years of relationship, I know her. And this didn’t fit what I had come to expect from her.

Yet I wanted to support her. Nothing wrong with a marathon (except for all that running).  So I said I supported her, figuring her doing something I didn’t expect wouldn’t impact me. After all, I’m not the one who would be training for a marathon.

Supporting her may sound pretty nice of me until I tell you that there have been too many cranky comments about her going to bed early to get up at 5 AM to run 20 miles, go to work, then be sore and exhausted that evening. I’ve lamented (out loud and in her presence) about how much it costs for running shoes, entrance fee, travel, and accessories. I’ve complained about how much time it takes away from us or the family. In summary, I’ve whined. A lot!

There were times when I kind of wanted Elizabeth to go back to that neatly defined box I had put her in. It would just be more convenient that way. But it was too late! Letting her out of a box I didn’t even know I had her in was impacting me. It has forced me to evaluate my attitude and the way I see her.

As I’ve been convicted about this, I have seen how I can do this same thing with God.

A.W. Tozer explains it like this, “Left to ourselves we tend immediately to reduce God to manageable terms. We want to get Him where we can use Him, or at least know where He is when we need Him. We want a God we can in some measure control.”

Through worship songs and praying I declare that I want God to be God. (But it’s easy to think it won’t impact me. God can be Himself. It’s like the marathon, I’ll support God in doing His thing). And when He does just that, I get surprised. It does impact me. And like I did with Elizabeth, I can want God to go back into that box. I want control again.

No matter how long we’ve been in relationship with God, we run the risk of entering that rut of reducing God to manageable terms and believing He stays there. God can’t be reduced to manageable terms. But when we do this, our faith and relationship with God is.

As I watch Elizabeth train and tackle this challenge of doing a marathon, I see new things about her that would have been missed if I kept her where I wanted her. I see more about her that I value. Our relationship deepens.

We're learning about living a better story. While we are looking at the stories each of us are living, we don't want to loose sight of others' stories. But it can be hard to engage others' stories when the story being lived is a sad one, broken one, or one we disagree with...what are we doing with these? Instead of ignoring their story, perhaps a place to begin is to listen.

Jena shares about some stories she discovered while on vacation at the beach.

During our beach week, one of my generational patterns is being tested. Like my mother and grandmother before me, I tend to be someone that has a sign on my head that says to random strangers, "share your life story with me." And I love it. Sheldon is always amazed when I say things like, "you know that lady beside us in line at the grocery store, she was buying those groceries to take to her dying mother's house." And he's like, "what? how do you know that in 3 minutes standing in line?"

Yesterday was no exception. We started out the day on the beach. As we were digging out a pool and moat for our castle, a little boy, Andrew, came down and started helping us. I didn't see his parents close by, so I asked him where his mom and dad were, and he said, "I have two mommies. Mommy Chris and Mommy Annette..... there she is." We spent the rest of the morning talking, sharing and playing with Andrew's family. Mommy Annette taught our kids how to play beach bocce ball, while Mommy Chris took care of baby Ellie. Annette and I had just started sharing our family's stories of how our children came into our families, when a storm rolled in.

I came away from our time incredibly grateful for the time that we shared, for Andrew coming down to play with us, and for the chance to share our lives.

In the afternoon, we went to play in the park. An older gentleman came with his grandson. I asked him how many grandchildren he had. "Seventeen," was his reply. I asked him their ages. That question prompted the next 15 minutes of this 74 year old man sharing with me that his grandson had been left in his and his wife's custody 9 years ago at age 5 months. The grandson was diagnosed with autism at age 18 months. This all was told while the grandpa was un-apologetically chain smoking, while admitting that he knew it was bad for him, but if he made it this far, why should he quit now? He shared that although he had been baptized in a creek into the Baptist church some 60 years ago, he no longer believed in all that "hellfire and brimstone stuff". Nope, he was now what he coined, "a reformed redneck" who believed in the philosophies of the hippies. "Make love not war" he told me. He told me that he and his wife weren't planning on raising their autistic grandson for their retirement, but that they did the best they could, and loved him. He told me that he didn't believe in any kind of corporal punishment, "If you hit a kid, you teach him to hit".

I was blown away by his obvious, if not rough around the edges, love for his grandson. I came away so grateful. That this man shared his story with me. I feel, for lack of a more descriptive word, blessed, touched even.

Then last night, we went out to the crabbing dock and met a man and his daughter. The man shared that he and his wife just bought a house down here last month and that it was their first time down here since they bought it. He and his daughter had just gotten back from a trip to New Orleans with their church to build houses.

He then shared that he was a Presbyterian pastor who was ten years away from retirement. He was so present with his daughter and at peace. It was a pleasure to just watch them crab together. He showed the crabs to our kids, and taught us what he knew about crabbing, which wasn't much because he described himself as a novice. The he gave us an extra crabbing set and a chicken neck, so we could go crabbing today.

Last night I could not get these people's stories out of my head. One time when I was talking to my mom about how people just love to share with us, and her observation was that, most of the time, people have no one to listen to their stories. And I am grateful, that I can listen to other people's stories. Even the painful and difficult ones. Even the ones that are vastly different from my experience.

Our stories are sacred. I am learning that more and more. And one of the most loving things that I am learning to do is listen to other people's stories. Sometimes the most difficult stories to listen to are the stories of those closest to us. Many times I have had a role in those stories. Sometimes I have contributed to the pain in those stories, or even been a major source of pain and conflict. Sometimes I am not a part of stories I "should" be a part of, and it is painful to hear a narrative that should include you, but doesn't. Sometimes I have "opinions" about the stories of those I love. And my opinions get in the way of me doing what is the most loving, just listening and acknowledging the sacred place that is someone else trusting me with their story.

I love hearing stranger's stories. I love learning and hearing from the vastly different people that come across my path. It reminds me of the bigger picture of God. It reminds me that I can be a part of that picture when I chose to listen and give room for the sacredness of honesty. I am so grateful for those who chose to share their stories with me. Those who are close to me, and those who I will never see again. I pray that as God continues to change me, I can be a person who truly listens and looks for the God story in each person's story, without judgment, condemnation or fear. And when those stories are full of joy, I will rejoice with those who rejoice, and when they are full of pain and lon]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 04:00:00 GMT http://www.thedoorcf.com/pages/page.asp?page_id=83858&articleId=15634 http://www.thedoorcf.com/pages/page.asp?page_id=83858&articleId=14886

There are fender benders on summer road trips. In the journey of life, those fender come in the form of conflicts.

Arguing is a part of conflict. How do you deal with this kind of fender-bender?

Arguing turns an ally into an opponent. And opponents must be conquered. Arguing creates a competition in which there is a winner and a loser. Who wants to loose?

So let’s talk about how to argue effectively. A long time ago (well, more than a year ago) I got an email titled, “How To Argue Effectively”. It has no source cited so I can’t give credit to who wrote it. Maybe that was on purpose? Below are some notes taken from that email.

Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases. Memorize this list:

• Let me put it this way…
• In terms of…
• Vis-à-vis
• Per se
• As it were
• So to speak
• Qua
• You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as, “e.g.”, and “i.e.” These are all short for, “I speak Latin, and you don’t.”

Here’s how to use these meaningless words and phrases: Suppose you want to say, “Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don’t have enough money.”

You never win arguments talking like that. But you will win if you say, “Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-à-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se,…as it were.”

Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks. You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

• You’re begging the question.
• You’re being defensive.
• Don’t compare apples to oranges.
• What are your parameters?
• You’re so linear.

Here’s how to use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.

You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873…

Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.

You say: You’re begging the question.

You say: Liberians, like most Asians…

Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.

You say: You’re being defensive. Besides, don’t compare apples to oranges.

You say: Sure are a lot of Italians who live in igloos.

Your opponent says: Eskimos live in igloos.

You say: You’re so linear. What are your parameters anyway?

Ok, so maybe this advice is questionable. Actually, it’s downright wrong. No one wins when we argue like this. But it doesn’t hurt to laugh at ourselves for attempting variations of this advice. Maybe if we laugh more, fender benders won’t turn into major collisions.

Enjoy the ride.

It was a great weekend at Camp Hebron! This week one person said to me that it’s a great way to get to know people better. Ah yes…nothing like hanging out around camp fires, eating together, waking up after sleeping in a tent and not caring about your clothes or hair. Slowing down for a weekend (or Saturday) to be together brings us closer.

If you didn't make it up this year (for the weekend or Saturday), I encourage you to make it a part of your June next year.  

The entire weekend and especially the sharing Saturday night reminded me (Jeff) of Hebrews 10:24-25, "Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near." 

In different ways I hear people express a desire for meaningful relationships within our church family. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to go for it and also acknowledges that even though we may want this, we can neglect getting together with others.  It takes initiative. It takes time.

Summer is a great time to get together with others and to be encouraged. Let’s “think of ways to encourage one another…and not neglect our meeting together” It makes for a rich life! One full of “outbursts of love and good deeds.”

It’s graduation season. Lots of speeches and talk about the future and making a difference and going for it. The year before I graduated from HS I read a statement that has stuck with me longer than any motivational speech I heard at graduation. I’m 39 years old and it still impacts my life and my priorities.

“God’s will for your life has more to do with who you are than with what you do.”

Thinking about the future and God’s will for my life always drew me to think about career and vocation. What I would do? But this simple statement redirects me to what matters most – my inner life. Who I will be? Who am I becoming?

“Who you are” is talking about the heart. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do” (Proverbs 4:23). And Jesus repeats this, “For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all other sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you” (Matthew 15: 19-20a).

So it makes sense that when I am becoming who God wants me to be, then I will inevitably be doing what God wants me to do. What I do flows out of who I am.

This saying gets it in the right order – focus on being who God wants you to be and then you’re on your way to doing what God wants you to do.

So I ask myself: Is what I do more important than who I am? Or is the kind of person I am more important that what I do?

Let’s graduate from being occupied with what we’re doing to being consumed with who we are becoming as followers of Jesus Christ.

On Sunday Dave challenged all of us to not only read the Psalms, but to have a number of “go-to” Psalms. Dave explained how he has a couple of Psalms he can rely on for perspective and help.

That phrase, “having some go-to Psalms”, caught my attention; it makes sense. Out of curiosity, and amusement I guess (I was a communication major in college), I wanted to investigate this “go to” phrase.  What really is a “go to Psalm”?

The earliest “go-to” reference I could find was William Saffire talking about it in a 2005 NY Times article when he was looking for the origins of the “go-to” phrase.  He said, “The earliest use I can find is in the April 5, 1985, Washington Post, when William Gildea, a staff writer, quoted the basketball coach John Wood of the Springairn Green Wave about his star, Sherman Douglas: ‘In a close game, we knew who to go to. When a game gets tough, you don't have to tell one guy to shoot and another guy not to shoot. They go to the person who gets the job done, and on our team Sherman was that person ... the go-to man.’"

There you have it – if basketball represented life, then when things are close and tough, we don’t have to try and decide where to go in the Bible, we go to a chapter in Psalms that gets the job done…a go-to Psalm. We can rely on God to speak through that “go-to” Psalm.

Beyond sports, we have go-to people who have some expertise or experience in an area. For example, when I have an audio question, Keith is my go-to guy.  Or, Melanie is the go-to person for administrative things. We have these point people in our lives for particular subjects or situations.

Psalms are naturally “go-to” material because of the direct way they speak to our lives and put things in the perspective of where it fits within who God is.

Bottom line is that we go to many people and things to find comfort, direction, perspective, truth, and help. We are always “going-to”, so let’s elevate our lives by having some go-to Psalms. As we go to Psalms and meet God through His word, we’ll be leaving behind the lesser “go-to” sources.

I don’t have a couple of go-to Psalms.  I have some I like, but I want to have a couple of “go-to” Psalms. In fact, I need these. I’ll be reading the Psalms with this in mind. “God, what are some go-to Psalms I can depend on in any situation?”

The other week on The Door facebook & twitter page, I asked others what favorite Psalms they had. Kind of like asking what’s your go-to Psalm? What Psalms are clutch for you?

Here are what some said. These make for some great Psalms to go to…

Keturah: So many, where to begin? - I love the Psalms! I have been praying Ps. 91 over Brady since he was born, as these verses always give my heart peace when things in the world around us seem uncertain.

Kathy: Because this is an ongoing process for me right now and I know beyond any doubt that the Lord specifically gave me this scripture in a desperate time, my favorite right now is Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from ALL my fears".

Holly: Psalm 64:7 & 8-"Because you are my help, I will sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."

It’s really a rather basic concept: Determine a destination. Then choose a path that will take us there.

Since Rainbow Falls was our destination, we took a path (Rhododendron Trail) that went in that direction. Boulder Trail was right there as well. But we chose not to take that path because Boulder Trail went in different direction. And if we went the wrong direction, we’d end up at the wrong destination…far from Rainbow Falls.

This scenario plays out every day. Not in State Parks, but in our lives. There are destinations we want to arrive at – goals, desires, and dreams for life, church, relationships, career, etc. In order to get there, we need to choose a path that takes us there.

Andy Stanley calls this The Principle of the Path:

My choices put me on a path.

My path takes me in a direction.

My direction determines my destination.

I always looked at this with “choices” as the starting point. But that’s not totally accurate. Because really my choices are made with a destination in mind. I am choosing a path that takes me in the direction of the destination I want to arrive at.

We chose Rhododendron Trail because it took us to the destination we want to arrive at – Rainbow Falls. With the destination determined, we could then choose a path. We could have said Rainbow Falls was our destination and chosen another path (which happens a lot in life: say one thing but do another).But we chose a path that took us in the direction of our intended destination.

The destination acts like a compass for the choices I make. This means I need to think about my destination…even question the destination. David does this over and over in Psalm 37, and it gives him perspective about his own choices once he evaluates the destination.

But there sure are a lot of paths to choose from! All these maps are thrown at us; solutions, products, and directions that promise to take us towards our goals, dreams, and desires. These maps are full of shortcuts. Shortcuts sell! Shortcuts can be pretty appealing.

Jesus put it into perspective when he said, “Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do.” (Matthew 7:13; The Message)

Question the destination. If we do, we can choose God’s paths that will elevate our lives…no shortcuts.

I (Jeff) don’t want to be poor. Don’t know many people who aspire to be poor either. It’s just not a condition most people want to be in. There’s an understandable resistance to being poor.

So when I read the first sentence of Jesus’ first “official” teaching, I have a conditioned response – I don’t really want that Jesus? “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3). But Jesus, I don’t want to be poor.

I get hung up on that word – poor, poor anything. It’s interesting that the word Jesus used describes a beggar who has been stripped of everything. “Jesus was not describing a person in total destitution materially but one destitute of elevating themselves above others” (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, pg. 127).

But Jesus, I don’t want to be poor. Elevating myself in even subtle ways validates me. Do I really want to be stripped of pride and arrogance? I say yes, but being poor in spirit is pretty radical.

I think it takes a hum-v (humility & vulnerability) to be poor in spirit. Seeing myself the way God sees me (humility) and speaking the truth in love (vulnerability) allows me to be poor in spirit. That’s why I talked about Philippians 3:12-18 in last week’s blog. Paul is hum-v & poor!

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule” (Matthew 5:3, The Message).

If we’re riding the change train, then the tracks are humility and vulnerability. And a blessing of being poor in spirit is being increasingly transformed into the image of God (2 Cor. 3:18).

There was a long season in my life when I just wanted to be done. I wanted to be all “fixed up” and taken care of. I wanted to look good. I wanted to not be needy…to not be so poor in spirit anymore. Left to myself, I can still gravitate towards this even though I have seen and tasted the blessing of being poor in spirit.

So I’m glad I’m on the change train at The Door where our aim is to ride this journey together and invite as many others as possible to join along in being poor in spirit, but not poor in the abundant life Jesus brings as we are being changed into His image.

If love & respect aren't happening in your marriage, it’s probably because your love or respect is conditional. If the conditions aren’t met, then it’s justification to be unloving or disrespectful to your spouse. And when this happens, Emerson & Sarah Engerichs describe what happens as “The Crazy Cycle”. It goes like this: without love, she reacts with respect – without respect, he reacts without love.

There is another option, “The Energizing Cycle”. The Engerichs describe it like this: his love motivates her respect – her respect motivates his love. This energizing cycle creates an energizing environment for a home and marriage. But unconditional love and respect requires sacrifice, serving the other, and dying to yourself. Hmm…now that explains why we may want all this great stuff, but not be experiencing it.

Think about these passages as it relates to taking ownership for your part in The Crazy Cycle or The Energizing Cycle. If we live these, we'll be making it possible to enjoy the marry-go-round cycle that energizes.

• 2 Corinthians 5:15

• Ephesians 5:1-2

• Philippians 2:3-8 (The Message version helps connect this passage to marriage).

This week we gave some general questions at the end; questions that can help you bring together some specifics from this series. On Sunday we’ll be praying for marriages, for those struggling with marriage or divorce, and those who are preparing themselves for marriage.

Questions:

• What are one or two thing I can commit to that will better prepare me for marriage?

• What are one or two things I can commit to in this next season of my marriage?

• Whether I am married or not, what are a couple of things I want in my marriage? What is my part in helping to have those things be a part of my marriage now or when I get married?

• Pink: the female's world characterized by a primary need for love
• Blue: the male's world characterized by a primary need for respect

• Why does it bother me so much when my spouse...?
• What is my spouse's shortcoming or fault or difference triggering in me?
• How is my response helping or making things worse? (If it's not actively helping, it's making things worse).
• Do I have faith, hope, and love when I disagree, have differences, or I'm disappointed by my spouse? If not, why?

• Can I agree to disagree on things, or do I try to get my spouse to agree with me?
• Do I confuse preferences with principles - treating my personal preferences as principles that must also guide my spouse's life?
• Do I give my spouse freedom to be different than me?

• Am I quicker to try and deal with my spouse's "speck" or quicker to deal with my own "planks? What would my spouse answer about me?
• Do I try to diagnose, fix, and change my spouse?
• Is my love conditional or unconditional when I see a speck that needs to be removed?
• Do I pray for my spouse when there is a "speck" that concerns me?

• What does it look like for me to trust God to meet my needs?
• What changes in my marriage when I first trust in God to meet my needs instead of first trusting in my spouse?

• If I get married some day, what do I expect for my marriage?
• In what area(s) of my marriage is the expectation of good things not what it used to be?

• What would be one item on the list that I could commit to give to my wife/husband now that could make our marriage more enjoyable in the future?
• If I get married some day, what are a few things that I want to commit to to my future wife/husband that would make our marriage enjoyable as we grow old together?

• Trust and being trust worthy
• Doing your part for the greater good
• Allowing the other other person to become all he/she can be
• Figure out how my marriage works for me
• Leave father and mother, not just go into the family mode you grew up in
• Walk through disagreement
• Hope and dream again
• Learn what my spouse wants from me - what shows her love? what shows him respect?
• Be willing to change for my marriage
• Walk away from things that are hurting my marriage
• Get help if I need it
• Focus on my marriage
• Work on communication
• Refuse to disengage
• Re-engage if I am already disengaged from my marriage
• Stop nagging
• Listen
• Walk with my spouse through his or her healing
• Spend more time on my marriage
• Support my spouse spiritually
• Forgiveness
• Get help from a counselor if we are hitting a wall
• Know my spouse